because i have had the opportunity to be a part of sofia's life, and have her as a part of our family, i am blessed by so many small things that are taken for granted. i miss my ten year old who used to want to be around here and we had to convince her to go home to meachum street. even now when she visits, that is what it feels like many times. she is a visitor, not a child who belongs here and can do as she pleases. growing up has changed our relationship. it is different than with my own children. i have gotten wiser and there are not 3 children to provide for so it is easier to spoil her, and yes i do beg her to stay overnight....we have gotten too big for us both to sleep on the sofa, and i promised her this room could be hers. friends her age are what takes up her free time, and i am glad she has those good influences in her life. what scares me about sofia growing up is not that she will forget us, or exclude us purposefully. with every day that goes by, we all change. i don't like that kind of change. love is supposed to grow bigger to include everyone-- i feel distance and an uneasiness. and i will going through this growth process again as miss charlotte becomes a young lady. i will always have a place in my heart and in my life for sofia. i hope she will feel the same for me, our family- we are family. jbp
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